I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
