My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Randomize
