I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
