I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
