when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
