the new term for farting is butt boxing.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Is it penis luge time yet?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Randomize
