I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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