Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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