So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
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