some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
