i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Randomize
