dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
