the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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