his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
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