Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
