real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
