So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
My ass is underappreciated
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
