words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
