Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
