we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
