you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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