Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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