Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Houston, we have a squirter
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
