I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
