Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
