Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
