We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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