Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
What a dumb baby whore.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
