did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
