I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Randomize
