apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
