Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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