Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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