Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
