Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
