I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
