I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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