i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
