so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
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