We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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