I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
