Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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