Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
He has the fingertips of a God
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