dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
