I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
