And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
