so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
