return my video game
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
