are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Randomize
