What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
